Thursday, December 10, 2009

Things I Don't Want for Christmas

In a perfect world I could cross stitch this on a sampler and display in a place where everyone could observe it. As a mother I can only fantasize about being so brash, but if I could I would...



Please, if you love me, don't gift me ....


-Anything that has to be plugged into a four prong outlet.

- Another watch. I've never worn a watch, that's what I use my cell phone for, yet I have, not a watch for every day, but a watch set to every time zone from the Northern Territory of Australia to the East Coast of the United States. Why?

- Anything flannel, footed, drop seated, covered in penguins, owls or sock monkeys, please! I've startled more than a few UPS guys when answering the door in my Christmas jammies from years past. Of course, if they delivered their goods at a decent hour I would be dressed, I swear.

- Anything that must be worn on the head, especially if it jingles, sparkles or lights up.

- Anything with a physical fitness application. Exercise tapes, yoga mats, wii games that make fun of your waistline, I'm on the fence about "lounge wear", they seem a lot like work out clothes to me, so, to be on the safe side, just leave those off your list, if you don't mind.

- Anything I can see myself in that isn't a picture frame or an antique mirror i.e. a toaster, crock pot, bread machine etc. etc. etc. If it's stainless steel and someone has to polish finger prints off of it, really, it's not a gift now is it?

- Another cookbook, it ain't helping.

-A kit of any sort. I still haven't finished the latch hook Santa rug my aunt sent me in 1992. When I finish that one, I still have the mosaic kit, the photo tinting kit, the cross stitch world map, I'm not sure I have enough years left as it is.

With all my love,
Mother

4 comments:

Rowena said...

Our blog has received a warning from a certain Gift Manufacturers Against Sock Monkey Prejudice group.
I can't imagine why!! ha!!!!!

Edwina said...

I own footed, flannel sock monkey pj's, thank you very much, but really I think that to have more than one pair would be greedy. That's all I'm saying...

Rowena said...

Well, maybe a photo of Edwina in the afore mentioned pajamas would appease the Sock Monkey rights groups? I'm thinking that's what it's going to take. Yep. Get that posted right away.

Edwina said...

You think I wont? I have answered the door in them, and once even took the dog out, though it was midnight. I was thinking they might like to become the traveling, footed, sock monkey pj's, start watching your mail...