A Ferocious Fall Fantasy

I am lost in a fantasy . . .

and in this fantasy I am disguised as a vengeful forest fairy (you should be thinking of something along the lines of the mean sea-witch in The Little Mermaid with a Smoky the Bear flair). I am howling a savage, haunting war cry while ninja flying through the trees, over the fences, to the neighbor’s yard. Once there I apprehend them by the hoods of their hoodies, and wrench the leaf blower and rakes from their hands. And while they watch in alarm and disbelief, I toss the blower into the fiery leaf inferno they’ve been working on all afternoon. Then I ninja flip my way into the forest behind our homes (to throw them off, of course, as I can’t have these neighbors with matches follow me home!), and let loose a tremendous roar which echoes loudly off the hills. This will cause someone to call 911, and when the authorities arrive they put out the fire and tell those neighbors to never, never burn leaves again. Ahhhhhh!!!!!! What a delightful autumn fantasy - - - BUT one that I shouldn't even have to have.

This isn’t the first time they’ve gone firebug on us. In the fall I can expect at least one smoke-filled, eye-burning, lung-shrinking episode per week. Frankly I am weary of the series and weary of them turning any afternoon into a bronchial spasm marathon.

Put down the matches, Sparky McKindlins! Let me breathe!